"I'm getting a divorce."

Diane looked across the lunch table at me, mouth agape. Gerard and I had separated two months earlier but still my matter-of-fact announcement came as a shock.

"I'm not going to let it affect my business” I said.

She knew I was wrong about that. Most of us are, when we're the ones that get hit with a major personal crisis. We believe we can keep on going with no affect on our business at all.

Most of the time we're wrong. Some crises affect us directly. Others affect us indirectly because they hit people we care about.

More than a million divorces are granted in the US every year. Each one affects two people directly plus many others. This doesn't count the number of people who separate, but don't divorce.

Countless people suffer the loss of a loved one, the loss of significant property, or other traumatic events. Others are victims of crime.

No matter who you are, it's almost impossible to get through life without something big and bad happening to you or someone you care about. When it does, it will affect your personal life and your business life, too.

I asked a friend of mine who went through an amicable divorce a decade ago about it. Here's how he put it.

"I thought it would be easy. It wasn't. I thought it would be quick. It wasn’t and the emotional affects lingered for a year or so after the final decree. And I thought it wouldn't affect my business, but the business took a major hit."

Your business is a part of your life, so it makes sense that your business will be affected when your life is affected. It's logical, but most of us don't believe it. We think we can compartmentalize our business and keep it safe and untouched. That's virtually impossible.

Your divorce or illness or loss will suck time away from you. You will have to keep appointments, compose documents, answer questions and a million other things that use time you could be spending on your business.

You will spend psychic energy on things that have nothing to do with business or quality of life. You'll be distracted by worry or anger or fear.

Be realistic. Your personal problems will affect your work. If you understand that, you can get help and seek out support. And you can find ways to wring benefit out of a hard time.

That's not as weird or as hard as it sounds. Most people who go through a personal crisis develop stronger and deeper relationships with others. They discover strengths they didn't know they had. I have.

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