If you want the following:

-High employee morale
-Employer of Choice status
-Low turnover
-A workforce that is responsive in the face of change

… then you want to become an expert at making it comfortable for your
employees to:

1. Speak honestly and openly about what’s bothering them

2. Express a point of view different from yours

3. Challenge ideas and initiatives promoted by management

4. Speak out about management practices they experience as being
counterproductive

Now you might be thinking “Why would I want all that… I get enough negativity already?”

Well, there are two reasons…

Number One:
There’s a difference between whining and complaining and people expressing unhappiness or skepticism in a mature, productive way. While the former is toxic and a huge drag on organizational effectiveness, the latter is essential to organizational success. The less safe people feel about saying what’s really on their mind -- and the less they feel heard -- the more likely they are to act in an immature or passive-aggressive manner. Conversely, the more they believe it’s safe to speak truthfully about tough issues, the more likely they are to say what’s on their mind in a constructive, mature way.. So, if you’re effective at making it safe for people to talk openly and honestly, you’ll get far less immature, counterproductive complaining and negativity.

Isn’t that true for you? Think of yourself both in personal and professional relationships where you think the other person will get defensive or antagonistic if you bring up something that’s bothering you. Aren’t you less likely to talk about it directly? Depending on your personality, aren’t you more likely to hold a resentment, make little “I was only kidding” digs, and/or… wait until you’ve had enough and then explode? Conversely, if you think a person can handle honest, open discussion, you’re more likely to take a chance and say what’s on your mind.

Number Two:

When employees don’t feel safe speaking openly about what’s bothering them, they’re more likely to act out their unhappiness – by caring less, not putting out 110%, withholding useful ideas, calling in sick, spreading negativity, or leaving for a better employer.

One of the truisms I try to tattoo on the mind of every manager I work with relates to this phenomenon: “Power brings immunity from feedback…. but not reality.” When we’re in positions of power – whether in the workplace or as a parent with small children – we are unlikely to get feedback about how our behaviors affect those with less power.

While we may not get feedback from our children (at least until they’re teenagers) or our employees about how our behavior affects them, there’s still an effect. If we treat them with disrespect, if we take our moods out on them, if we act in a controlling, power hungry way… there’s an effect alright. We’re just not getting direct feedback about it. Without feedback, it’s easy to suffer from The Illusion of Consequence-Free Behavior.

Based on the many war stories I hear from the supervisors and managers I work with about THEIR bosses, as well as my own experience as an employee, I think many managers and executives fall prey to this illusion. Because they’re not directly confronted by their direct reports or people down the food chain about careless, inconsiderate, or just plain disrespectful behavior, they don’t recognize the HUGE price they and their organization pays for that.

I believe one of the big reasons why only 26% of employees report being engaged is because of this. Think of your own experiences being managed or working for a company where you didn’t feel respected, where it wasn’t OK to speak openly if you disagreed with a new initiative or organizational change, or it wasn’t OK to let your boss know his/her treatment of you was counterproductive.

Didn’t that affect how you felt about helping your employer succeed – i.e. your level of engagement? Conversely, if you’re lucky enough to work in an organization where it’s safe to say what’s on your mind, don’t you feel far more committed? Don’t you bring far more energy and vitality to your work… rather than having your energy dissipated on ruminations about unfair treatment?

OK… I hope the WHY of all of this is clear – i.e. it’s clear how important it is to make it comfortable for people to talk openly and honestly with you – often called the ability to create Emotional Safety.

Here is one example and two resources for the HOW…

The Example: As we were preparing to work with his management team on coaching skills, the president of a telecom company said to me the other day “I tell my people that I know there are times when I might do something or make a mistake and they would like to come to me with a sledgehammer, but… because of my position, they don’t. Even though I know they won’t use a sledgehammer, I ask them to at least use a hammer… I need to know if I’m doing things that bug them or don’t make sense.”

Between his explicitly stating “It’s OK to confront me about what’s bothering you or if you have a different perspective” and his open, respectful demeanor with his managers increases the odds he will hear useful feedback and constructive dissent.

Two Resources:

I)This is an excerpt from the workbook for my program “Turning Difficult Discussions Into Constructive Conversations”:

1.One of the most important skills to develop is the ability to create “Emotional Safety”. The greater Emotional Safety people experience, the less likely they are to become defensive or combative, and the more likely they will tell you the truth about what’s bothering them. Actions which prevent Emotional Safety include:

·Saying “You shouldn’t feel that way.”

·Putting down the person’s perspective (e.g. “That’s crazy!”)

·Peppering the person with questions.

·Using what they said against them later; i.e. playing “Gotcha” (“So what about that ‘I want us to all be team players’ thing you were talking about?”)

·Coming on too strong with both voice tone and word choice.

·Using sarcastic humor or other types of humor at the other person’s expense.

·Being “a character” – acting in ways that lead to people never knowing if you’re serious or not.

II) Here’s an article I wrote awhile back that offers practical ideas for starting off a conversation in a way that fosters open, honest communication:

How to Start a Difficult Discussion Off Right: The "Declaration Followed By Invitation" Format

If you have examples of bosses acting in ways that make it comfortable to speak truthfully, I’d love to hear about them.

David Lee
HumanNatureAtWork.com

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