Do your customer service professionals forget one of the basics of Customer Service 101 --and Good Manners 101 -- acknowleding and appolgozing when there's been a mistake or the customer has been inconvenienced? I find that this basic is ignored about 90% of the time. Here’s an example of someone who doesn’t:

I dashed into the LL Bean outlet in Concord, while in town on business, hoping to return an item before an appointment. What should have been a brief event stretched on as the computerized cash register kept freezing up.

After several failed attempts, my window of opportunity closed. I let the lady know that I needed to leave. She apologized profusely and asked if I lived nearby, so that I might easily return. I told her that I didn’t, but would stop by on the way back. She thanked me for my patience. When my meeting ended, I returned.

As I strode toward the counter, she looked up and headed in my direction. “I’m so glad you came back!” she said with a big smile. She then went on to explain that our transaction happened right in the middle of what they call a “five minute computer event.” She eagerly processed my order and thanked me again for my patience...

I said “Thanks for saying that… and it’s no problem.”

I thought about how refreshing it was to have someone in customer service demonstrate that they care about your inconvenience and bother to apologize… and how such a simple courtesy made this lady and the business she represented stand out.

Instead of the typical “they clearly don’t care” experience most customer service people leave you with by showing no concern or offering no apology, she left me with a positive impression and feeling, despite the inconvenience. The “emotional take away” was positive, even though the transaction didn’t flow smoothly.

I couldn’t help but think “What a sorry commentary on customer service in America that when a customer service professional shows concern and apologizes, it stands out. Think about your own experience as a customer. Think about how rarely customer service reps, tech support professionals, clerks, wait staff, etc. show concern or apologize when something goes wrong or when a customer has been inconvenienced. Not only is this bad manners, it is bad business. Frequently cited research by TARP reveals that by far the biggest reason customers defect – 68% of the time in fact – is because they were treated with indifference.

I think a major reason for this indifference is that, for the customer service rep, the mistake or inconvenience is just one of many they deal with every day. To them, the customer’s dilemma is just one of many, while to the customer, their problem is unique and important.

To prevent indifference from setting in, customer service professionals must keep alive their empathy for their customer’s side of the transaction, and the importance of verbally acknowledging their understanding.

Here are a few suggestions for putting this lesson to use:

1. If you’re a service professional, put a little sign or note by your work station or if you’re working retail, at the counter that says something like: “Let the customer know you care when he/she has been inconvenienced” or “Apologize.”

2. Remember, it’s easy to become desensitized to the customer’s side of the transaction when you’re on your side of it day in and day out. To help you remember what it feels like from the customer’s side, think of times you’re a customer and have been inconvenienced, or felt awkward, out of place, or helpless. For many people, thinking of dealing with a government agency, a healthcare system, auto mechanics, or the legal profession reminds them of how this feels.

3. If you’re a manager of CSRs, here are a few teaching points to use with your CSRs:

a. (this comes from a customer service newsletter I read years ago: “In any customer service interaction that goes wrong, there are two positions: “This is a big deal!!!” and “This is no big deal.” If you take the second position – “This is no big deal” then the customer will adopt the first position and do whatever it takes for you to appreciate what a big deal it is to them. If you adopt the first position, and let them know you see what a big deal it is, most of the time, they will graciously adopt the second position. So… if you want less hostility and antagonism from customers when things go wrong, remember to empathize.

b. Many, if not most, CSRs inadvertently bring on much of the antagonism and difficult customer behavior they experience because they don’t immediately apologize and empathize. Thus, their jobs will be much more enjoyable if they do this.

c. Just because a customer doesn’t show they are upset or an inconvenience, don’t assume they aren’t and that you can omit an apology. Not everyone wants to make a scene when they’re upset. Therefore, if someone has to wait or return an item because of the store’s or business’ mistake, apologize.

d. When you apologize and the customer says “Oh, that’s no problem” realize that them saying that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have apologized or that you were making a “big deal” out of something that wasn’t. It most likely means that they were graciously accepting your apology.

e. Conversely, if someone is very angry and you apologize and they respond in an ungracious way – e.g. “Saying sorry isn’t going to fix it, is it?” – don’t use that as proof that you shouldn’t apologize. It just means they were so riled up in that moment, they weren’t able to switch gears to a more pleasant, civil mode. Most of us can remember times when we were so angry or frustrated that when we got what we wanted it felt awkward going from a lion to a pussycat in two seconds or we just couldn’t do it because our physiology was so much in the fight or flight mode.

f. Because so few CSRs do bother to apologize and acknowledge the customer’s inconvenience, by doing so, your CSRs are helping your business separate itself from the competition, and the CSR is providing tremendous value to your business (and therefore building job security and employability security).

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