Sunday Morning Sled Dog Humor
I wanted to list A VERY CUTE EXPOSE that I received from one of my Ocean Omega Clients regarding an amazing interaction with a polar bear and some sled dogs, however I couldn't get the pictures to load into this blog. PLEASE feel free to e mail me, and I will send you an e mail with attachments. You have to see this to believe it!
Heres' some sled dog jokes for your enjoyment:
Q: Why did the hunter name his sled dog Frost?
A: Because Frost bites!
Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: It chases parked snowmobiles!
Q: What did the sled dogs say when their pizza was delivered?
A: "Arctic hare, lemmings... Hey! Didn't we order puffins on this thing?" (And what about the mutts-erella cheese?)
Q: What did the hunter say when the polar bear ate his sled dog?
A: "Well, doggone!"
Q: What do sled dogs say before telling you a joke?
A: "This one will sleigh you!"
Q: Why did the sled dog cross the snow softly?
A: Because it just got hit by a snowmobile and couldn't walk hardly.
Q: What is the difference between Santa Claus and a warm sled dog?
A: Santa wears a whole suit - a dog just pants!
Q: What did the vet say to the musher who brought in a sled dog with caribou steak on its head, seal meat stuffed up its nose, and lemmings stuck in its ears?
A: "Your dog isn't eating right."
Q: Why did the sled dog in the Iditarod race wear little booties?
A: Because its kamiks were being repaired!
Q: What is worse than a sled dog howling at the moon?
A: A whole team of sled dogs howling at the moon!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sled dog and a cheetah?
A: A dog that chases snowmobiles - and catches them!
Q: What do you do if your sled dogs won't run?
A: Get the AHA (Arctic Husky Association) to make an emergency service call.
Q: What do you do when you park your sled in very cold weather?
A: Plug in your dogs.
Q: What is the difference between a sled dog and a mailbox?
A: You don't know? No wonder we're not getting any mail from the Arctic!
Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers on the tundra?
A: A bud hound!
Q: What would you get if you crossed a puffin with a sled dog?
A: A dog that lays pooched eggs!
Q: What time is it when ten sled dogs are chasing a polar bear across the ice?
A: Ten after one.
Q: What does a sled dog that was an Iditarod competitor become after it is ten years old?
A: Eleven years old.
Q: What did the sled dog take when it was run down?
A: The description of the snowmobile that hit it!
LINKS: MORE
INFORMATION
ABOUT
SLED DOGS
Q: How long are a sled dog's legs?
A: All the way down to the snow. (Or maybe... four feet?)
Q: Where are sled dogs trained?
A: In the mush-room!
Q: What is a sled dog's favorite sport?
A: Formula 1 drooling!
Q: Why did the sled dog bite the man's ankle?
A: Because it was a short dog and couldn't reach any higher!
Q: Why do sled dogs bury their bones in the ground?
A: Well, doesn't everybody put their leftover food in the refrigerator? (Permafrost is a handy thing, y'know.)
Q: Why do sled dogs bury their bones in the ground?
A: Because they can't put them in the trees!
Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole igloo!
Q: What do you call a litter of young dogs that have come in out of the snow?
A: Slush puppies!
Q: How did the sled dog make antifreeze?
A: It ran off with her blanket!
Q: Where should you leave your dog team and sled?
A: At the barking lot!
Q: How is a sled dog like your nose on a cold day?
A: They both run!
Q: Where do sled dogs go when they've lost their tails?
A: A retail store.
Q: Ten sled dogs shared one umbrella, yet none got wet. Why?
A: It wasn't raining. (There's no drownpour here - the Arctic is a desert.)
Q: What do you call a sled dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call it, it still won't run!
Q: How many legs to sled dogs have?
A: Six. Forelegs at the front and two at the back!
Q: If your sled dog fell through a hole in the ice, what is the first thing it would do?
A: Get wet!
Q: How many hairs are in a sled dog's tail?
A: None. They're all on the outside.
Q: What did the sled dog with a limp say after it finally tracked down and cornered the hunter?
A: "You're the #&%@!#%* that shot my paw!"
Q: Why did the sled dog run in circles?
A: It was the watchdog and needed winding.
Q: How do you make a slow sled dog fast?
A: Don't feed it!
Q: Why aren't sled dogs good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!
Q: What did one sled dog say to the other while leaving the party in the igloo?
A: "That was one of the best parties we've ever been to... and then you had to go and do that on the floor!"
Q: Why is a sled dog like an apple?
A: They're both red, um - except for the sled dog. (Editor's note: How did this stupid joke get in here?)
Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: There's a long pause after "Bow" while it tries to remember "Wow".
Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: Buries its tail - wags its bones!
Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid sled dog?
A: When you give it that canned food from down south - it just eats the meat-by-products part!
Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not be an Iditarod winner?
A: The toupee on its back keeps falling off.
Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not be an Iditarod winner?
A: It's made by Sony.
Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not be an Iditarod winner?
A: Its collar doubles as its medic alert bracelet.
Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not like you?
A: You catch it gnawing on your snowmobile's brake line.
Q: What's a sign that your sled dog may not like you?
A: Whenever you're having a bath, it decides to fetch electric appliances.
Q: What do sled dogs play with to amuse themselves?
A: Their "Sony Sleigh Station".
What we say to sled dogs: "Mush! Hike! Gee! Haw!"
What they hear: "Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!"
First sled dog in heaven: "For fourteen years I survived storms, fights with polar bears and wolves, falls into crevasses, plunges through the ice into the icy ocean..."
Second sled dog in heaven: "How did you get here?"
First sled dog in heaven: "When I was sleeping, my stupid owner ran over me with his snowmobile!"
Patient: "Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a sled dog!"
Doctor: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Even since I was a pup."
Sled Dog Tip: You can't trust your dog to watch your lunch.
Q: Yiiii! There's something coming that's making an awful noise! It's got 22 eyes, 42 feet - and it looks all furry! What is it?
A: Hey, that's just Olayuk and his dog team!
Why is it... that when you blow in your dog's face, it gets mad - but when you take it for a ride in the truck, it sticks its head out the window?
The Final Word: "The more people I meet, the more I like my sled dogs."